Mot's Useless Card Review #8: Seize Wesley

Okay, shove Seize Wesley in the back a second here; let's talk about the Ktarian Game. On the one hand, you've got a really great dilemma. It disables your opponent's personnel one by one, sort of a slow and demoralizing Quantum Singularity Lifeforms that will work on any affiliation.

Actually, it won't . . . that's the problem. It is so easy to meet the requirements for this dilemma, you just as well might have seeded an Empathic Echo. (THAT is another issue, though . . .) CUNNING > 30 can be attained in about four personnel by just about any affiliation (except possibly with Klingons, who still shouldn't require more than five). That means if they attempt with any more personnel than that and hit this dilemma, the unaffected crew will solve it, no sweat. Worse still, the android cure. Just about every Federation deck is bound to include at least one of the Data (Prem)/Juliana Tainer/Lal triad. And ANYBODY can play with the non-aligned Soong-type Android. (And let's not even get started about Robin Lefler!)

So here's the REAL dilemma: how in the world are you gonna make the Game stick? Well, I have to confess I failed to devise one sure-fire path to victory here. It depends on the circumstances, and the type of opponent you're up against. What I can give you is a number of options:

First, how to deal with those pesky androids:

• Heisenberg Compensators/Subspace Schism. I hesitate to even bring up this amazingly powerful combination, but there's no better way to make sure androids aren't around for this dilemma - don't ever let them get to your opponent's hand!
• System-Wide Cascade Failure/Chinese Finger Puzzle. There's a big ouch! If your opponent brought and android, they are doomed to die at the end of the turn without Ira Graves' assistance (no Dr. Soong yet). Then you stop the mission attempt with the Finger Puzzle. Beware the player who stocks Plexing; it can't be nullified!

Tips on dealing with the crew in general:

• Humuhumunukunukuapua’a. If any substantial portion of the crew's CUNNING is coming from non-aligned personnel, the trusty old fish should take care of it, knocking off 4 points from each "yellow-belly" present.
• Brain Drain. Okay, you might have to use several of these to knock your opponent's CUNNING down below 30, so make sure you get the most bang for your buck. Take out those high CUNNING people first, and work your way down.
• Interphasic Plasma Creatures/Nagilum. This can be a fairly effective combo in setting up any dilemma. Players are far more likely to double up MEDICAL in a mission attempt than SCIENCE, so unless your opponent is playing a Vulcan (or a really bizarre K’chiQ) odds are the IPC will stick. That lowers the STRENGTH of everyone there, so that Nagilum stands a much better chance of killing off half the crew. After that, when half the crew is dead, Ktarian Game should work, if your opponent stubbornly attempts the mission again.

Tips on dealing with Robin Lefler:

• Odds are you'll never see her. But IF you do, her Yuta number is 11.

Okay, if you've been keeping count, you've notice that making a Ktarian Game work could take as many as three cards, and maybe more. So what's the good news in all this? All you have to do is make Ktarian Game stick for one lonely little turn, and then play Seize Wesley to finish the job. A combination of the fish and Brain Drain may be a temporary fix, but that will still get the dilemma on their ship, where you can then play Seize Welsey to permanently finish it off. And hey, if Wesley happens to be aboard, then you might later get to ask him "how many lights he sees?"

Why would you devote so many cards in a deck to such a "useless" dilemma, when you could play Barclay’s Protomorphosis Disease or Cytherians or Borg Ship? There are several reasons. First, all of the cards I listed to help make the Game stick are useful in many other situations. That means they won't sit uselessly in your hand if your opponent never attempts the mission where you seeded the Game (or worse, if they play all planet missions!). Brain Drain and the fish in particular have a number of clever applications. Second, it's unexpected. Your opponent will be preparing for something like the Disease, knowing to bring SECURITY, MEDICAL and SCIENCE before ever attempting the mission. They may bring Lakanta for the Cytherians. They may even prepare for the Borg by bringing Metaphasic or Nutational Shields, or a Hugh. But do you think your opponent would EVER expect to hit a Ktarian Game? The element of surprise can be very useful. Finally, there is the satisfaction you'd get out of making such a "useless" card not only work, but wipe out a large portion of your opponent's personnel!

So, 'til next time, remember Lefler's Law 91: "Always watch your back."